bruceb news

Several years ago somebody was asleep at the switch. The official White House site is www.whitehouse.gov, which is fine and right. But similar names were grabbed by third parties, which has caused nothing but grief ever since. Whitehouse.com is a porn site, which can be an interesting eye-opener for fifth-grade kids doing homework. But the site to check out is www.whitehouse.org, which is a spoof of the official White House site – and has some pretty funny stuff on it. If you saw the picture of Ashcroft in today’s paper, then you might get a chuckle out of the whitehouse.org photo illustrating today’s lead news item, “ATTORNEY GENERAL SAYS AMERICA MUST CEASE TO BE A LURID STATUARY OF DEVIANT SEX.”

Twelve one-minute films featuring Wallace and Gromit will be available for download this autumn, according to this article. This is the first new Wallace and Gromit material since 1995, and the feature film is apparently still several years away. (If you don’t know anything about Wallace and Gromit, treat yourself to the films, now available on DVD. As good as it gets.)

In case you missed it, here’s Dave Barry’s column today about life with Windows.

“I bring this all up because now Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.’ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.’”

The Onion has done its usual fine job of reporting on the WTC bombing and the American response. This article is a good place to start: U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We’re At War With. (NOTE: If you’re not familiar with The Onion, please be warned – it is profane and tasteless. Also very, very funny.)

You’re probably wondering what to do with all the bandwidth that your cable or DSL line supplies. Well, how about watching a scene from Monty Python And The Holy Grail, created with Legos? This is what the Internet is for, as far as I’m concerned.

THE TOUGHEST DECISION: SHOULD MY LOVED ONE

BE PLACED IN AN ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY?

“For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful decision they will face: to accept that a loved one — a parent, a spouse, perhaps a sibling — is technologically impaired and should no longer be allowed to live independently, or come near a computer or electronic device without direct supervision. The time has come to place that loved one into the care of an Assisted Computing Facility. But you have questions. So many questions. We at Silicon Pines want to help.”

Funny stuff. Highly recommended. […] continued

You were probably thinking to yourself, gosh, I wonder where I can see stick figures fighting Jackie Chan-style? Aren’t you glad I’m around to help? (Requires Flash and a bit of a wait while it downloads.) After you’ve seen that, you’ll probably be exhausted and ready for the simpler pleasures of things my girlfriend and I have argued about. This is what the Internet is all about!

Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec’s AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft’s Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus. “Frankly, we’ve never heard of a virus that couldn’t spread through Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least, unexpected,” said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC’s infectious disease unit.

I can’t vouch for this image, but it appears to be legitimate – and a sublime example of bureaucracy at its finest. Click here and enjoy.