SEBASTOPOL – Bruce Berls announced plans today to travel to Australia from February 22 through March 11, 2018. The trip, previously a closely-held secret, will disrupt publication of Bruceb News and has caused an outcry from clients whose businesses depend on smooth delivery of IT services.
When contacted, Mr. Berls issued the following statement.
“For several days of my trip, I will be completely inaccessible. Other times, I’ll be checking mail and messages but I’ll be unmotivated and lazy. Hey, I’m going to be in Australia. Let’s all assume I’m unavailable, okay?
“Bruceb Consulting clients who need IT support should contact Mikel Cook, (707) 827-1524, email@example.com.
“If Mike is not available or you have an emergency, contact Dan Timms at TeamLogic IT, (707) 293-9525, firstname.lastname@example.org. He is aware that I will be travelling and his company provides excellent support.”
No clients were willing to make a statement on the record, presumably because it’s a bad idea to irritate the guy who knows all the passwords. Several, however, expressed misgivings about Bruce’s cavalier attitude towards an important relationship, given that (1) companies are increasingly reliant on technology for virtually all aspects of their businesses, and (2) technology really sucks and expert help is necessary all the goddamn time.
Bruceb News will be published sporadically or perhaps not at all, more or less depending on the quality of Australian wines. If the wines are excellent, the chances of going back to the room and writing a thousand words about the latest Microsoft screw-up will drop significantly.
Mr. Berls stated that he would be grateful if all the computers in the world would just settle down and behave themselves for the next eighteen days.